The Corset Clerk's Nightmare: A Beaver Dam Prank Gone Wrong

Beaver Dam is one of the greatest places for jokes that can be found in a day's ride. The boys are now telling of a diabolical joke that was played on a young man. They have been having a course of lectures there, and the young man has acted on a committee that has taken charge of the lectures, and been very efficient. The last lecture was given by Ann Eliza Young, one of the relicts of the late lamented Brigham Young. She was at the hotel, and there was also a lady there who was traveling for a corset factory, taking measures of people and having corsets made that fit better than those sold at stores.

It was the duty of the young man to go to the hotel and take the lecturer to the hall, but the boys put up a job to have the hotel clerk send the young man's card to the room of the corset lady, instead of to the room of Mrs. Young, when he called. In the meantime they had written the corset lady that a young man who wore corsets wanted one made to measure, and that he would call in the evening. There were so many men that wear corsets that the business-like little woman did not think anything strange of it, and when the card came to her door she told the bell boy to show the gentleman up.

The young man went up to the room, thinking he was being ushered into the presence of Brigham's faithful widow. He shook hands with the corset lady, and hoped she was feeling well, and she admitted that she was; because, to tell the truth, business was never better since she had been on the road.

"From your general carriage, I should judge you prefer one that opens at the side," she said, as she looked at the young man's fine manly frame. Thinking she was speaking of the hack he had at the door, to take her to the hall, he said: 'Yes, all the best people here prefer those that open on the side.'

Finally he said as he looked at his watch, that it was almost time for her to commence. She said it wouldn't take but two or three minutes.

'Please remove your coat and vest,' said she as she took up a tape line, and looked around for a pencil.

We suppose the cold perspiration stood in great drops on the young man's forehead. He is as honest and square a man as ever lived in Beaver Dam, and never entertained a thought of guile, and it hurt him deeply to have a woman he had never met before act so familiar, and he became weak and faint, and leaned against the mantel.

He looked at the lecturer, as she came toward him with a tape line in one hand, a note book in the other, and a pencil in her mouth, and when she looked up at him with a business look and said; 'Take off your coat,' he turned pale, his knees trembled, and, with a choking voice he said:

'Stand back, woman, stand back! You do not know the man you are dealing with. I have always striven to lead a different life, and no woman can assail me with impunity.'

The middle-aged corset canvasser stood back aghast.

'What on earth is the matter?' said she.

'Matter enough, madame, when a poor orphan goes to escort a lecturer to the platform, the forum, ma'am, and be met by an order to take off my coat and vest. It is enough to make Joseph, your late husband, Brigham Young—'

'Sir-r-r,' said the corset-maker, when he got to Brigham, 'do you wish to insult me? Have you come here thinking I am a Mormon? I will ring the bell, sir, and have you thrown into the street.'

He told her to be calm, and he found out she was not Mrs. Young, but a corset dealer, and then both apologized, and he went down to the parlor and found the lecturer and introduced himself.

Wiping the perspiration from his face the young man asked her if she was sure she was Mrs. Young. She said she was not the original, but she was one of them, and they started for the carriage.

After the lecture Mrs. Young asked an old gentleman who presided at the meeting, what was the matter with the young man who brought her to the hall; he seemed nervous and ill as the old man said, 'Well, Miss Brigham, some thinks he is cutting teeth, but I guess it is only his voice changing.'