The Sorehead Movement Meets Its Funeral

A chilly, unhappy meeting of the independents was held yesterday evening at 8 o'clock in the reception rooms of the G. A. R. hall. C. I. Clark acted as chairman. Twenty-five or thirty persons straggled into the main hall when it was evident that only a handful had come. A start was taken to the mess room, where they gathered around the long oilcloth-covered benches which served as tables. Every one present wore a long face; it really looked as if they were there to attend a banquet at which roast crow was to play a prominent part. After another delay of about fifteen minutes, and still no one arriving, Mr. Clark declared that the reception room was not only large enough but far from pleasant, and here the soreheads finally met to adopt measures by which the independent movement could die.

Chairman Clark announced that the report of the committee appointed at the last meeting to confer with the Democrats relative to the need of nominating a fusion ticket was in order. George Kinnear, chairman of the committee, said that although everything was progressing favorably, it was not prudent at the present time to report. He said he had canvassed the situation thoroughly and found that dissatisfaction with the regular procedure was great and that an independent ticket was sure to poll many votes. He was granted more time in which to effect a fusion with the Democrats.

Everything hinges on the success of the committee, W. A. Snyder suggested that the next meeting be called by the chairman of the committee, Mr. Kinnear. After the suggestion was put as a motion it carried. This practically means that unless the committee accomplishes some fusion with the Democrats there will be no more meetings, and the sorehead movement will meet a painless, natural death. As soon as this important matter was disposed of Chairman Clark paved the way for an easy entry into oblivion by an announcement that no action would be taken at present with reference to permanent organization.

A collection to defray hall rent, lights and funeral expenses was then declared in order, and V. M. Hansen, with a face as long as a hired mourner, passed around his hat. Rasing the circle of long, unhappy faces about him, Chairman Clark arose, and, trying to look pleasant, declared that the lack of members at the meeting did not necessarily imply that there was a lack of interest in the movement. He said he knew lots of men who felt the same as he did. Judging from the appearance of Mr. Clark the other fellows must be feeling very blue. An adjournment was taken and the handful of soreheads filed out like a funeral procession, hardly a word being spoken.

A. Brown, whose name appears on the list of members of the sorehead conference committee, says that he did not authorize such use of it and has taken no part in its proceedings, nor does he propose to do so. He is not satisfied with all the nominations on the Republican ticket, but is not taking any active part against it.