The Thief Who Crawled into a Hole
A petty shoplifting chase leads to an absurd standoff underneath a downtown storefront.
The story, cleaned up
A cleaned-up reading of the newspaper page: spelling and layout repaired, one story lifted off a crowded page. It follows the original closely but it is not a transcription. The original page is below; read it if a detail matters.
The quiet of the lower part of the city was somewhat ruffled yesterday afternoon by the appearance of a storekeeper on Commercial street chasing a fellow at breakneck speed and crying, 'Stop thief! stop thief!' But the fellow did not feel like stopping. Reaching the corner of Mill and Commercial street, he turned down toward Yesler’s wharf, closely followed by his pursuer. Reaching the alley near the post office, he ran through it, and reaching the rear of Waddell & Miles’ tin store, he fell on his stomach and crawled under the house. Keating, his pursuer, caught him by the leg, but the fellow gave him a punch in the stomach, and he was glad to loosen his hold. The excitement attracted quite a crowd of men and boys, who swarmed around the hole the thief went into like a lot of bees; but all efforts to extricate the fellow failed till Chief Woolery appeared upon the scene. It seems this fellow and a companion had entered Keating’s store, and while one talked to the proprietor, the other stole a couple of small brushes, worth about three bits each. As they left the place, Keating missed his brushes and started in pursuit. In his flight, the fellow dropped the stolen property, which was recovered by its rightful owner. On reaching the scene of operations, Chief Woolery crawled under the house and hauled the fellow out. He was recognized as an old offender, and when asked what he remained under the building so long for, said, 'I just wanted to have a little fun.' He afterwards stated that he and his chum had stolen the brushes to raise beer money. He was locked up, and will be held for trial on Monday next. After serving his sentence he will be given notice to leave town.
“The excitement attracted quite a crowd of men and boys, who swarmed around the hole the thief went into like a lot of bees.”
Petty theft and the 'beer money' motive remain a constant in urban police reporting, though modern Seattle's response to such incidents is significantly less reliant on crawling under floorboards. This story captures the highly localized, personal nature of justice in 1883 Seattle before the city's scale outgrew such direct confrontations.
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