The Simple Logic of a Territorial Divorce
A jilted husband pens a candid letter to a Justice of the Peace, asking how to dissolve his marriage and if the court might offer a replacement wife.
The story, cleaned up
A cleaned-up reading of the newspaper page: spelling and layout repaired, one story lifted off a crowded page. It follows the original closely but it is not a transcription. The original page is below; read it if a detail matters.
The simplicity of legal proceedings is one of the felicitous peculiarities of Washington Territory, though the law, so far as divorce is concerned, is not quite so limber as it is in Indiana. We have from the Territory of Washington a letter from a young man who seems to have suffered a little from the pangs of matrimony, and wishes to obtain a 'deviorce.' For that purpose he puts himself on paper to a Justice of the Peace of that region, supposing him to have the requisite dissolving power; and his way of doing it is so simple and candid as to command our admiration:
Justice Snyder: Dear Sir—I believe one year ago last September you married me to a girl by the name of either Mrs. Rosa Kayser or Rosa Heis. She left me about three months ago. Now I wish to get a deviorce. How will I come about it? I wish for you to inform me and what way I shall pay you for your trouble. Pleas answer right off and you will oblige, Anton Swinkron.
Post Script: If you can't do what I want, can't you send me some other girl that will do better for me and wont leave me? That will do.
“If you can't do what I want, can't you send me some other girl that will do better for me and wont leave me? That will do.”
This 1878 snippet captures the informal, frontier-era legal culture of early Washington, a stark contrast to the complex and heavily regulated family court systems of today. Yet, the underlying human desire for a quick resolution to a broken commitment remains a constant, relatable thread in the social history of the region.
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