The Unfortunate Travels of an 'Imperial' Grifter
A self-proclaimed Russian noble finds that Seattle hospitality—and the local church choir—has its limits when his 'aristocratic' habits turn out to be nothing more than petty fraud.
The story, cleaned up
A cleaned-up reading of the newspaper page: spelling and layout repaired, one story lifted off a crowded page. It follows the original closely but it is not a transcription. The original page is below; read it if a detail matters.
At last—Alexander Ivanhoff, a distinguished scion of the victorious empire of Russia, who first made his appearance in this country as an attache of the young Duke Alexis, was left behind by that gentleman through some unaccountable oversight, and has since passed through the vicissitudes incident to American life. Alexander was a blonde and a baritone, and visited this city some time ago in company with the Hehings-Bernard opera troupe. On the departure of that company, through some irregularity, he was left behind. Not being a prudent man, what money he had was soon expanded, and he then found that a noble in Seattle without cash was no better than any other man in the same condition. He was a large man, of compact frame, but he couldn't work—he wasn't used to it! Professing to be a Catholic, he ingratiated himself into the good will of the congregation of that church, and was attached to the choir, where he sang on several Sundays. Expressing himself very desirous to visit San Francisco, where he would be more likely to meet his fellow nobles, the young ladies of the Catholic congregation circulated a subscription paper and soon collected sufficient fund to not only pay his passage to that city, but to sustain him some time after getting there. The money was passed over to Alexander who, true to his noble instincts, instead of at once proceeding on his journey, proceeded at once to get on a big drunk, and finally waded into the bay with the intention of ending his unhappy life. But the cold salt chuck brought him to his reason, and soon after, hearing of the elegant culture of the people of Olympia, he sought that burg. There, finding it more popular to be on the Methodist side, he at once flung himself into the arms of that church, and has since fed and supped at its hospitable board. Only a few days ago the ladies of Olympia gave him a grand benefit, realizing funds sufficient to take him to his desired haven, and if he is at all prudent he will not 'wait on the order of his going, but go at once.' From the fact that Alexander left several bills unpaid here, and expended the money raised in good heart by the young ladies in riotous living, a shadow rests upon his name which can only be obliterated by his future good conduct.
“Not being a prudent man, what money he had was soon expanded, and he then found that a noble in Seattle without cash was no better than any other man in the same condition.”
This 1878 account of a charming grifter exploiting the generosity of local religious congregations mirrors the ongoing tensions in modern Seattle regarding homelessness and the limits of mutual aid. While our methods for addressing social vulnerability have shifted from subscription papers to systemic policy, the tension between genuine compassion and the frustration of being 'conned' remains a persistent theme in civic discourse.
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