The Bureaucracy of Getting Hitched

It was a dull day at the Pierce County courthouse and when the reporter strolled into the clerk's office he found the deputy at his marriage license desk in a talkative mood. 'Anything today?' the reporter asked. The deputy replied with a furrowed look: 'Not much today, but I can tell you a story, if you like, about some of the queer things that happen here.' He spoke of a couple who came in for a marriage license, bringing the mother of the lady as a witness. The groom-to-be blushingly admitted he was not quite 21. He was told he would have to get the consent of his parents. The party returned with a note signed 'Mother' stating 'Henry could get married if he wanted to.' When told it required the mother's full legal name, the auburn-haired young lady declared that the law has no business interfering with a man when he wants to get married. 'If I was a man I'd have it changed, too,' she said. They returned twice more before the license was finally granted. The deputy also noted that some couples are so nervous they can barely speak, while others are so scattered they forget witnesses entirely, requiring frantic calls. 'We just hustle in the preachers and put one couple in the vault while the other two are being married in the auditor's private office,' he added.