The Vagabond Philosopher of Yakima
A traveling drifter offers a bizarre, theological defense of his nomadic lifestyle to a local reporter.
The story, cleaned up
A cleaned-up reading of the newspaper page: spelling and layout repaired, one story lifted off a crowded page. It follows the original closely but it is not a transcription. The original page is below; read it if a detail matters.
The most wretched tramp that ever invaded the sanctity of a human dwelling was the speaker. A dirtier individual could not be imagined. His face was begrimed and his clothes were a sight to behold. He had just abandoned a freight train at the depot and he looked every inch the characteristic box-car tourist. The Herald reporter was approached for a temporary loan. 'I have no use for tramps,' explained the reporter by way of refusal. 'There are tramps and tramps,' replied the individual, not the least disconcerted. 'I grant you there are men of my profession who violate the eighth commandment, but will you remember that my profession exists by virtue of divine institution? Adam abandoned the Garden of Eden and became a wanderer. Moses spent forty years in the desert, idle and indifferent. John the Baptist subsisted on locusts and wild honey in his nomadic career. Even Columbus was a nomad, as were Napoleon and Stanley. Is the world not crowded with beggars? Do not austere senators beg for their seats? If you attend divine service, a contribution box is shoved forward entreatingly. Patronage is solicited by all classes.' When asked what he was, the tramp replied, 'A newspaper man,' before adding that he had to catch the train to Tacoma.
“There are tramps and tramps. I grant you there are men of my profession who violate the eighth commandment, but will you remember that my profession exists by virtue of divine institution?”
This colorful, albeit patronizing, piece captures the era's obsession with the 'transient' as both a social nuisance and a source of perverse entertainment. The reporter's dismissal of the man’s humanity mirrors the ongoing struggle to address homelessness in modern Yakima without resorting to the dehumanizing language of the 1890s.
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