The Great Finley Hog Hunt
A routine butchering job turns into a chaotic, nine-shot ordeal that leaves a local hog and a broken axe head in its wake.
The story, cleaned up
A cleaned-up reading of the newspaper page: spelling and layout repaired, one story lifted off a crowded page. It follows the original closely but it is not a transcription. The original page is below; read it if a detail matters.
Joe Gerards and a neighbor held a butchering bee last Monday when they killed two big red hogs. Joe and George arrived about noon and Joe said, 'You and George kill them and I’ll cut them up.' So George and the neighbor took the gun and the ax and set out for the pen. 'You shoot him and I’ll stick him,' said George, and the neighbor pulled the trigger. 'Bang,' went the gun. 'Ugh,' went the hog and twitched one ear. 'You never touched him,' said George. 'I’ll bet $5.00 I did,' replied his neighbor. 'Well, try it again,' said George. 'Bang.' This time the hog grunted twice and shook his head. 'Give him another,' said George, and they did—not only one, but seven more, making nine shots in all—but still the pig wouldn’t die and the shells were all gone. About then Joe wandered back to see what the trouble was. 'Knock him down with the ax,' he advised, and George immediately broke the handle out of the ax on the pig’s head. 'George, you jump on Bess and ride to Kennewick as fast as you can and get another box of shells,' ordered Joe, 'and we’ll herd the pig here till you get back.' But while George was gone, the neighbor and Joe managed to get the pig over on his back and stuck him so when George got back, the pig was all scalded, scraped and hung up. His head was shot as full of holes as a collander. When Joe paid the neighbor for the hog, he made him deduct a pound for lead.
“His head was shot as full of holes as a collander.”
This humorous account of rural life in Finley highlights a time when food security meant personal labor and often, unexpected failure. Today, the rural-urban divide has shifted, but the neighborly tradition of sharing agricultural work remains a touchstone for the region.
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