The Political Spoils System in 1876 Seattle
A satirical look at a local man's desperate, cascading web of nepotism surrounding the upcoming federal appointments.
The story, cleaned up
A cleaned-up reading of the newspaper page: spelling and layout repaired, one story lifted off a crowded page. It follows the original closely but it is not a transcription. The original page is below; read it if a detail matters.
He was found yesterday afternoon inquiring for 'the latest,' and he looked so hard-up and knocked about that many wondered what possible business a political story could be to him. When they made bold to ask him, he replied: 'Well, you see, my brother Bill is angling for the office of Secretary of War.' 'Yes.' 'Yes, sir, and if he gets it, he will have brother Sam appointed Revenue Collector.' 'Yes.' 'And then Sam will get the old man appointed Postmaster.' 'Yes.' 'And the old man will get my brother-in-law on as a letter-carrier.' 'Yes.' 'And my brother-in-law will use his influence to get me appointed weigh-master of the Western District, and then the whole family will walk about in clover knee-deep. You see how much depends upon this thing. How's Florida going? Detroit Free Press.'
“And then the whole family will walk about in clover knee-deep.”
This 1876 snippet captures the 'spoils system'—the practice of rewarding political supporters with government jobs—which was then at its peak of intensity. While federal appointments are now largely protected by merit-based systems, the 'who you know' ethos described here remains a recognizable feature of local civic power dynamics in Seattle today.
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