The Bread and Water Diet

A few days ago the people of our town were thrown into excitement by the appearance of a certain 'Dr.' DeWolfe, Professor of Dietetics, etc. Expectation ran high and on the evening of the lecture the 'Dr.' was honored with a full house. The Professor repeated his discourse on dietetics, taking strong grounds against all kinds of animal and vegetable food. A friend of ours, somewhat addicted to experimental philosophy, after hearing the lecture, suggested to his wife the propriety of following the Professor's advice and thus attain the promised boon—a ripe old age of three score years and ten. The lady of course consented and our friend thought no more about the matter. The next morning he was somewhat surprised to be called to breakfast a little earlier than usual. The family had gathered around the table when he made his appearance, and with long countenances were awaiting his arrival. One glance at the table showed our hero that he was 'sold'—the morning repast consisting of bread and water! 'Madam,' says our friend, 'didn't the professor advise the use of stale bread?' 'Yes,' replied his wife. 'That is new bread I believe.' 'Yes.' 'Well,' replied our friend, his face beaming with a happy thought, 'I believe we had better postpone that little experiment until we have stale bread.' Our friend has not allowed stale bread to accumulate since that morning.