The Patriotic Drunkard
A Walla Walla local argues that his drinking habit is a noble contribution to the war effort.
Spooner was arrested for drunkenness, and waxed indignant thereat. Spooner is loyal. 'Now, I axes,' says he, 'if it’s right to go and arrest a man for supporting the Government. Every drop of liquor I swallows is taxed—taxed to support the war. Suppose all us fellows stop drinkin'—why, the war would stop, and the Government would stop. That’s the very reason I drinks. I don’t like grog; I mortally hates it. If I followed my own inclinations, I’d rather drink buttermilk, or ginger-pop or soda. But I liquors for the good of my country, and to set an example of loyalty and virtuous conduct to the rising generation.'
“I liquors for the good of my country, and to set an example of loyalty and virtuous conduct to the rising generation.”
Spooner's satirical justification for his habits touches on a recurring theme in American history: the performative nature of patriotism. Even today, civic duties are often framed through the lens of consumption, whether it be 'buying local' to save the economy or tax-driven moralizing.
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