The Minister’s Holy Kick

A minister from a neighboring town came to this city a few days ago. He was out late at night, and returning to his hotel, was suddenly met in a lonely part of the city by a highwayman who thrust a pistol at the clergyman and demanded his money or his life. The minister was startled, but his presence of mind did not forsake him, and he thus addressed the would-be thief in the most solemn and affecting tone: 'My good man, you shall have every cent I possess. I will give it to you willingly, but I hope you will listen to me first for a moment.' The preacher then went to work and went over a whole sermon, and in the most melting tones beseeched him to forsake his present mode of making a living. The stars twinkled above in undimmed glory and the sad winds whirled around the adjacent corner. It was an impressive occasion and the silent influences of the night, in connection with the eloquent and sweetly modulated tones of the preacher, caused the robber to soften and grow penitent. The preacher saw this, and watching an opportune moment, exclaimed: 'My friend, you have done me a wrong, though you shall have my money. But get down on your knees and ask forgiveness of your sins.' The penitent thief got down on his knees, and when he had completely unhinged, the preacher kicked him in the stomach and then ran up the street like a narrow gauge engine.