The Miracle Bologna That Fought a Cat
A local man tests a dubious 'elixir of life' on his lunch, with shockingly violent results for his sandwich.
While in the city last week, Jim Williams procured a sample of what he calls “Brown-Sugar Elixir of life,” as he wished to try its general effects on his aged frame. On Sunday he bought a link of bologna, which he took home and put thereon a few drops of the elixir. In a moment he says the bologna commenced to bend. By the application of a drop more it moved, and by the third application of the rejuvenator it (the bologna) was out in the woodshed fighting another cat. This may not be true or James would have tried it himself, and he has failed to regain any of his lost youth.
“By the third application of the rejuvenator it (the bologna) was out in the woodshed fighting another cat.”
This tongue-in-cheek account highlights the prevalence of snake oil salesmen in the late 19th century, a time when 'miracle cures' were sold to anyone desperate for health. The humor of the 'fighting bologna' was a standard way for editors to debunk quackery without the danger of a libel suit.
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