The Ultimatum: Lager or Love
A Snohomish woman forces a choice between the bottle and the altar.
The story, cleaned up
A cleaned-up reading of the newspaper page: spelling and layout repaired, one story lifted off a crowded page. It follows the original closely but it is not a transcription. The original page is below; read it if a detail matters.
If you prefer the keg of lager or the bottle of wine to me, said Mary, just take them to the magistrate and get married to them. What do you mean? said John. Just what I say. I don't want a young man to come here evenings chewing cloves to hide his breath, and hide his habits of drinking. If you like lager more than you love me, just marry it at once, and don't divide your affections between women and wine. Love and liquor have no affinity. Why, Mary, how you talk? exclaimed John. Yes, I mean what I say; unless you sign the pledge and keep it, you had better not come here again. John did sign the pledge, and he kept it, and he married Mary.
“If you like lager more than you love me, just marry it at once, and don't divide your affections between women and wine.”
Temperance was a massive civic force in late 19th-century Washington, frequently framing private romantic relationships as a battleground for social morality. While the specific moralizing tone has shifted, the pressure of domestic expectations and the struggle to balance social habits with relationship commitments remain perennial themes in local discourse.
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