The Awkward Kiss at the Surprise Party

Rumors without number have raised protests against miscellaneous osculation. Jesters have made it the source of jokes from time immemorial. Nevertheless, like the soul of old John Brown, it continues to go right along. One of those uncommon incidents transpired the other evening in Columbia City, that classic village that nestles on 'Muddy Millcreek's marshy inactive.' A young lady of high social standing was the recipient of a 'surprise party.' Wishing to welcome her visitors with the utmost cordiality, she began saluting the young ladies, as one by one they hied in, with the inevitable smack. This was all very natural. But the surprisers were not all girls; there were several young men. The hospitable hostess, all smiles and blushes, in the dim religious light, made a mistake. The first young man that stepped in was greeted by a warm hug and a most decided oscillatory salute square in the middle of his mouth. With courage bordering on the sublime, the hostess did not faint. She saw she had made a miscalculation that was simply awful. Nothing remained to her but to rest ever after under the suspicion of partiality or to treat all the boys alike. She chose the latter course. It is alleged that the young men bringing up the rear, as they saw how matters were progressing in front, braced themselves up and moved forward with an air no painter can ever do justice to.