The Ghost in the Water Mains
Seattle residents plagued by terrifying subterranean thumping discover the culprit is local utility infrastructure, not a haunting.
The story, cleaned up
A cleaned-up reading of the newspaper page: spelling and layout repaired, one story lifted off a crowded page. It follows the original closely but it is not a transcription. The original page is below; read it if a detail matters.
The neighborhood in the vicinity of Tenth Street and Yesler Avenue has been greatly annoyed of late by supernatural noises that seem to originate in the bowels of the earth. At first, those of a superstitious turn of mind were inclined to believe that the noise originated in some misunderstanding with the bad men we have heard so much about. But after a careful examination, the cause of all the row was discovered. The Spring Hill Water Company's pumphouse is situated nearby, and owing to faulty machinery, air occasionally enters the mains and causes a tremendous jarring of the water pipes throughout the different houses in the proximity. The noise is terrible, and the residents are unable to sleep more than a few minutes at a time, owing to the chugity-chug and slam-bang noises. One lady sufferer said last night, 'I don't know what we will do if the water company doesn't remedy the evil. It is simply awful. I have hardly slept a wink since we moved into this house several months ago. During the last two weeks, it has been worse than usual.' The engineer at the pump house said that it could easily be stopped by connecting an exhaust air chamber with the pipe in every house. He said he knew there had been complaints, but he was not running the water company.
“The residents are unable to sleep more than a few minutes at a time, owing to the chugity-chug and slam-bang noises.”
Infrastructure-related noise and vibration remains a common grievance in rapidly densifying Seattle. While the 'Spring Hill Water Company' is long gone, the tension between neighborhood livability and the city's necessary utility backbone is a recurring, frustrating constant of urban life.
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