The Satchel Swindle: How a Miner Outsmarted a Seattle Landlord

We called on an acquaintance of ours yesterday—a bedraggled miner. He is noted for his ability to inveigle himself into the good graces of hotel proprietors, and he occupies choice quarters in one of our leading hotels, where 'high style' board is dispensed at $5 a week. We confidentially inquired how he survived up Skagit. 'Didn't survive at all!' came the prompt reply. 'What do you expect to do next?' 'Get even, by gum!' 'How?' 'Well, if you agree to keep the business secret, I'll let you into one of the best and most successful schemes for living cheap and comfortable ever developed by human intellect.' We agreed, and he proceeded: 'Do you see that satchel there?' 'It's quite heavy,' we observed. 'What's in it?' 'Well, to commence with, there are twenty pieces of lead pipe cut into proper lengths and carefully rolled, so as to represent a $20 roll. As you will see, I have carefully pasted the paper with which they are covered so as to prevent inquisitive meddlers from seeing more than I wish them to. The first morning after my arrival I took particular pains to leave the satchel open so that when the landlord's wife (who makes the beds) came in she could satisfy her womanly curiosity by going through it.' He stopped short here to inquire if we 'grasped the idea.' We 'grasped,' and he proceeded: 'Well, it worked like a charm! It turned out just as I expected! When I came into lunch—not dinner, mind, for this house carries style and uses stylish terms for meals—the landlord called me aside and suggested that it was very careless that I had left a large sum of money where any Tom, Dick or Harry could come in and rob me. Had I not better put it in a coin bag and put it in his safe? I thought I had, and putting it into a bag which he furnished, I sealed it, taking his receipt for it. And here I am safely moored for at least two months, waited on hand and foot. Why, the landlord's boy wanted to polish my boots yesterday, and I told him I had nothing smaller than a five. 'Oh, that's all right; father says you're good for it,' came the answer. You see, they are trying to make my bill as large as they can, I'll put on style next week and have my meals sent up to my room. I'll even go Skagit, you bet, or bust in the attempt.' The above facts are made public out of justice to the hard working, good natured individual who keeps the house referred to, which is less than a mile from the corner of Second and Cherry streets.