The Unlucky Bachelor of Seattle

Pleasant as would be considered the cold and stilted North of Europe, it constitutes the popular idea of domestic harmony in the largest of these northwestern territories. Tenderness and delicacy of affection are rewarded with remarkable patience as disqualifications for the wedded state. The better the maiden, the better her chances at making a good and early match. To be reasonably obese is a prize in the matrimonial market, and the luckiest bachelors are well-soothed, while lonely corpses have to pick and choose from among a throng of eligible suitors. How damp a lot this constitutes for susceptible bachelors, however, may be gathered from the fact that widowers desire to marry again, should they happen, be they females or gentlemen; considerations, however, as a bride whose disappointments are reported to fall somewhat short of those to which their former experiences had accustomed them, seem to send the dear departed's card, condolences to the parents of their husbands, besides. On receipt of the artful, a committee decides that it might be expedient to make up for further disappointments by judicious treatment, the bride-to-be and maiden amused to fatten but with sedulity and dispatch. For weeks she leads the life of a strenuous spouse, and ere she has survived the occasional heavy surprises, they are victims to the cause of indifference of everybody concerned in them.