Seattle Lawyers Turn a Charity Baseball Game Into a Biblical War

Present indications are that the battle at the Madison Street ball park tomorrow afternoon, commencing at 3:30 o'clock, between the Philistines, headed by the redoubtable warrior Frank Twichell, and the Jacobites, under the guidance of G. E. M. Pratt, will be the fiercest on record. The warriors of both teams are in constant practice and wear sweaters day and night. Yesterday afternoon the members of the opposing forces were practicing at the ball park, and their antics were something wonderful.

Trouble may arise concerning the services of Harrison Boatwick, John Wiley's partner. Mr. Boatwick is supposed to be a heavy batsman and fast base runner, although he weighs considerably over 500 pounds. At first the Philistines were inclined to oppose his entering the game, but now leader Twichell insists that the mighty warrior must play one inning and give an exhibition of batting and base running. Trouble may arise over the stand taken by Twichell, but it is hoped that the matter will be smoothed over. Over 300 tickets were sold for the game yesterday.

The Philistines were in council last night and had a mighty pow-wow over the proclamation of the Jacobites, issued by the Spartan-like warrior Jacobs. It was decided unanimously that the Jacobites had swelled heads and must be crushed. In that vein the following counter-proclamation was issued:

"CAMP OF THE PHILISTINES, HILL OF KING, July 30, 1894.

"And it came to pass at the time of the first conclave of the tariff reform congress, during the second reign of Grover the First, that certain of the children of the tribe of Jacob who were versed in the law, feeling puffed up and presumptuous over their ability to read and misinterpret the statutes of the land, did meet and consult together, saying, 'Verily, verily, the tribe of the Philistines on the Hill of the King are becoming greater and greater every day, and soon shall we be compelled to do their bidding and to yield up to them our subsistence for their enjoyment and profit; now, therefore, let us meet them at once in mortal combat, while we are perchance yet able to subdue them, and secure for ourselves the stores in their possession for the use and sustenance of their sick and lazy people.'

"Whereupon the gauntlet was thrown down and the greatest of the Tribe of Lawgivers of Canaan have been ordered to join the battle.

"Now, therefore, fellow Philistines, knowing that in all things we are just and above reproach, and reposing due confidence in your prowess and valor, I do adjure you, one and all, to at once prepare yourselves for the fray, to clothe yourselves with liver pad and fly screens, and to arm yourselves with the hog skin and wagon tongue, and, thus accoutred, to march forth to victory or death—for the benefit of the Bureau.

"Let us teach these presumptuous Jacobites the difference between baseball rules and grounds for a divorce, a base and a forcible entry and detainer, a muffed fly and a motion for a non-suit, a foul tip and a demurrer, the judgment of the umpire and of the superior court; let us mop up the chalk line of the arena with their authorities and cases in point; let the oranges go whistling through the air until, exhausted, and with judgment entered and execution levied against them, such of them as survive shall seek a change of venue to the municipal court, there to be dealt with according to their deserts.

"Let us gather together our wives, our sisters, our cousins and our aunts, that they may witness us do battle, and place our valiant deeds of record to be seen and heard of all men; and, that we may not be charged with cruelty to our adversaries, let the Relief Corps be summoned to be in readiness to care for their wounded and otherwise disabled. Let a barrel of arnica, scores of splints and a bale of lint be provided, together with stretchers, ambulances, etc., for the amelioration of their sufferings. Let no man falter in the discharge of his duty, nor under any circumstances talk through his hat to the umpire, but with one accord let us descend like an ice wagon on our 'Wiley' foe, at the time and place of their own choosing, then and there to do—or know the reason why.

"It is spoken.

"Done at the Head Camp of the Philistines, on the Hill of King, in the year first mentioned.

"F. A. TWICHELL, "Of the Council of War."

The make-up of the teams will be as follows. Philistines, colors red, white and blue: Levi Smith, Frank Twichell, Hiram Van Brocklin, W. H. Whiting, Charles Frey, Bion Brockway, Hubert H. Smith, H. M. Eames, Frank Van Brocklin; substitutes, Potter and Dan Bass. Jacobites, colors white and blue: G. E. Pratt, Backus, Morris, Brady, Hart, Rawson, Wiley and others. Game will be called at 3:30 o'clock sharp. Mr. Pope, who has umpired the S.A.C., will handle the indicator. The proceeds will be given to the Bureau of Associated Charities.