The Last Laugh on the Tariff: A Farmer’s Satirical Roast of McKinley
In a December 1890 edition of the Aberdeen Herald, a poem titled 'Better Than a Gold Mine' mocks President-elect William McKinley’s protectionist policies with biting wit.
The story, cleaned up
A cleaned-up reading of the newspaper page: spelling and layout repaired, one story lifted off a crowded page. It follows the original closely but it is not a transcription. The original page is below; read it if a detail matters.
The farmer leads a happy life, His farm supports himself and his wife, Three sons, two hired men and a gal, And the seven kids of his daughter Sal.
He rises up at the hour of four, And milks the cows and does every chore, He goes afield and plows till his back Aches like it had a three-foot crack Right up the line of the spinal marrow Then he can take a turn at the harrow.
And when he has plowed and harrowed, he sows, And when the summer is hot, he hoes. He also rakes, and he weeds, and p'raps, If the rainfall's right, he gathers some crops; And then he turns his crops into cash, And hitches the mare to his old calash, And drives into town to buy some clo'es To carry his family through the snows.
And if for his share of protection he begs, McKinley will give him a duty on Eggs! On Eggs! On Eggs! The Old War Tariff is on its last leggs When it has to rely on a duty on Eggs.
Oh, the farmer's life is gay, as a rule, And McKinley is certain the farmer's a fool —Puck.
This satirical poem, reprinted from the humor magazine *Puck*, captures the intense political anxiety of 1890 regarding the McKinley Tariff. While today we debate tariffs in terms of global supply chains and inflation, this era’s farmers viewed protectionist duties as a direct threat to their livelihoods, mocking politicians for focusing on trivial goods like eggs while ignoring the harsh realities of agricultural labor.
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