The Bachelor's Last Stand
A satirical tale of a local men’s club that fined members who dared to fall in love, until a ‘diabolical’ social boycott forced their surrender.
The story, cleaned up
A cleaned-up reading of the newspaper page: spelling and layout repaired, one story lifted off a crowded page. It follows the original closely but it is not a transcription. The original page is below; read it if a detail matters.
The Bachelors' club was an association of men who regarded themselves as being especially happy in not having a wife, child or home and who looked upon women as designing persons who made it their business to enslave men. The president called the meeting to order: 'Fellow bachelors, Edward Hammerton has taken to himself a wife. When any member shall become engaged or has been married he shall pay a fine and his membership shall cease.' Hammerton, the retiring member, confessed: 'No intention to desert you ever entered my head until a diabolical combination of young women in the town forced matrimony upon me. They organized a club to force bachelors into marriage. One morning, I found a blue silk handkerchief pinned to my hat. It was a signal. I was boycotted by every unmarried woman in town. The most attractive married women were honorary members who joined the boycott. Finally, the girl into whose toils it was intended I should fall met me. She burst into a passion of tears and ran into the house. I felt I had plunged a dagger into her heart. I apologized, and that was the end of my independence.' The president, hearing the tale, ultimately remitted the fine, though Hammerton insisted on paying double, admitting his descent into marriage was worth any price.
“These persons organized a club... to force the bachelors into matrimony. I shuddered; I had touched the Indian poison flower and was reminded of its waxen petals and its seductive odor.”
While this piece is a lighthearted piece of 1917 social satire, it reflects the intense social pressure surrounding marriage and domesticity that governed civic life in small towns like Kennewick. The 'Bachelor's Club' trope was a common way for men to vent anxiety about the changing roles of women, who were gaining social agency and leverage in the years leading up to the 19th Amendment.
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