The Great Cow-Milking Debacle of the Seattle Suburbs
A rustic attempt at domestic economy goes hilariously wrong when a young couple faces off against a calf.
We took a little stroll around the suburbs of town Sunday to see whether the cold snap had nipped anything, or stopped its growth. Sadly, we encountered a small corral. We noticed a young couple, just starting into housekeeping, trying to milk a shy cow. The man was holding the calf and gave it a lick occasionally, so as to coax the cow to let down her milk, while the young wife, with pail in hand, went to work; but the critter looked shy and irritated. Both joined their voices in soothing the lady: 'So bossy, sook.' The young wife was resolute, for she was ready and waiting for the nice, fresh, coveted milk, but it soon became evident that the calf was the best milker. The cow moved out and kicked, and when she finally did, it was a caution. That tin pail, after the feat, looked as though Mr. Park's had driven over it with his big mule team. As we withdrew to chuckle over the ludicrous performance, the husband shouted, 'I say! If you hear of any one that wants to take a gentle cow with a heifer calf on their hands, send 'em around.'
“That tin pail, after the feat, looked as though Mr. Park's had driven over it with his big mule team.”
This 1877 account offers a rare, humorous glimpse into the domestic struggles of Seattle's early settlers, living on the rugged periphery of a town that was essentially a frontier outpost. While modern Seattle residents might find the logistics of keeping a dairy cow in the suburbs unthinkable, the frustration of trying to balance 'fresh' living with the chaotic realities of property management remains a timeless urban headache.
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