The Great Cow-Rescue of Finley
A local farmer’s silo mishap turns into an absurdist tall tale involving a swimming cow and a bucket of milk.
The story, cleaned up
A cleaned-up reading of the newspaper page: spelling and layout repaired, one story lifted off a crowded page. It follows the original closely but it is not a transcription. The original page is below; read it if a detail matters.
Joe Gerards had a fresh cow last week. Joe is building a concrete silo and has the pit all completed. It is 11 feet in diameter and six feet deep. Monday night, old Sally, in nosing around for her new calf, fell into the silo pit. George suggested hauling up the derrick. Harold thought they could build a platform under her. Ralph was sure four men could lift her out, but Curt said they should fill up the hole again and let her keep climbing upon the pile. Waldo thought that with a team they could skid her up. Joe said, 'Well, she ought to be milked, anyway. George, climb down and milk her.' So George climbed down and started milking. He milked and he milked until finally she filled the pit with milk and swam out herself. Anyone who doesn’t believe it can come and see for himself, for Joe has the cow and the pit to show him.
“He milked and he milked until finally she filled the pit with milk and swam out herself.”
Local news in 1916 often relied on tall tales to build community bonds in rural valleys like Finley. It serves as a reminder of a time when the newspaper was the primary venue for local legend-making rather than social media.
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