The Clerk’s Odd Sales Pitch
A farmer learns a strange and aggressive new way to test if his wife is 'sound' while shopping in 1877 Seattle.
The story, cleaned up
A cleaned-up reading of the newspaper page: spelling and layout repaired, one story lifted off a crowded page. It follows the original closely but it is not a transcription. The original page is below; read it if a detail matters.
A farmer, standing in front of a store, watched the clerk proceed to toss goods to another clerk. The clerk picked them up and struck them with his knuckles to prove to his country friend they were 'all sound.' 'Waal,' said he, 'I reckon I’ll take that one on t’other side,' pointing to it with his finger, and at the same time pulling out his raw hide pocketbook. 'But what confounds me is that rapping ’em! What’s that dun fur?' 'That, sir,' said the clerk, 'will prove, at all times, whether the article is sound or not; if cracked, you will hear only a dull thud; but if sound, it has a sweet musical ring.' The jar in the meantime had been neatly done up and placed in the hands of the buyer. 'Ahem! It has, ha? Waal, now thank ye for your information, it’ll be of service to me. There’s somethin’ wrong with the old woman at hum, an’ when I git thar to-night I’ll just give her skull a rappin’ to see if it’s cracked or got a musical ring.' He was off, hurrying to catch the 4 P.M. train 'fur hum.'
“I’ll just give her skull a rappin’ to see if it’s cracked or got a musical ring.”
While framed as a 'folksy' joke of the era, the story highlights the deeply embedded historical trope of domestic control and the physical mistreatment of women. It offers an uncomfortable, voyeuristic glimpse into the 19th-century domestic power dynamics that were often glossed over in frontier-era anecdotes.
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