The Rolling Pin’s Final Word
A widower who couldn't stop praising his late wife’s domestic skills quickly learns to stop complaining about his current spouse.
The story, cleaned up
A cleaned-up reading of the newspaper page: spelling and layout repaired, one story lifted off a crowded page. It follows the original closely but it is not a transcription. The original page is below; read it if a detail matters.
A widower living at the station tried to console himself in his bereavement by marrying his deceased wife’s sister. He often indulged in odious comparisons between his former wife and his present spouse, much to the annoyance of the latter, who was at times disposed to meet the tactless sallies of her lord. On one occasion, he said, 'It doesn’t look like Mary Ann used to, Matilda,' in a tone of gentle, yet parting reproof. 'No, it seems to me that it isn’t cooked like Mary Ann used to.' By this time, a heavy rolling pin had landed in contact with his head. 'What do you mean by that, you vixen?' he continued, in agony. 'I’m doing some of the work Sarah Ann neglected,' she replied; and there was much peace and no complaints in this family thereafter.
“I’m doing some of the work Sarah Ann neglected.”
Domestic disputes over household standards are as old as the hills, though rarely resolved with kitchen hardware anymore. This snippet of 1885 'humor' reflects the Victorian era's fixation on rigid domestic roles, a stark contrast to today’s more egalitarian—if equally stressed—household management debates.
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